We're growing up

I would pretty much love to say that the tough education system has relinquished any thoughts in my mind to be thought about, which is why I haven't been blogging as much.. Most of my thoughts are being penned down in my essays of which I have trouble organizing my thoughts. They go all over the place!

Life's definitely been tough, but like-minded friends makes it a lot more enjoyable. I'm looking forward to the short break in June - with intense mugging for BT2 as well.

God's been good as always; whether 'm good or bad it doesn't quite affect His ever-unconditional love and grace. Sweet o' grace. How can I give up on you so easily? More importantly is, how do I go about making you the center of my life - for as long as I shall live? I am greedy. I was reading Set Apart Girls and wondering why can't Christian girls just be like absolutely normal people. Just what's wrong? We're not burning down houses or committing crimes against humanity, whatsoever.

To be very frank, I'd love the best of both worlds. I want to go crazy with Pris and Jess like I do now, which I probably cannot if I fully commit myself to church. It's not that I want to draw such a distinct line, but it's a fact that the line is there. I can't have both. I can only choose one. It's not that I don't have fun with churchies, but it's different. They say earthly gains are purely temporary but eternity lasts forever. If I say I want a plan which I can fall back on, then I'm saying I don't have complete faith in God.

So what goes on from now?

I'm trying to strike a balance which would probably never happen. Just like how pressure gradient force tries to equalize air pressure in vain, which is why the wind keeps blowing.. But I shall live my life happily, as best as I can, for myself and for God. I'm fully convinced that the church is good, my God is good, my friends are good, my family is good. And I don't want to look back at my life only to realize I have neglected a certain aspect of my life AND THEN REGRET. It'll be too late by then!

Thanks awesum people for allowing me to realize this. And yes, these r purely MY OWN thoughts with no grain of salt added from anywhere else.