He amplifies what I can't do to be what I can do

For every person, there is a place in their life where weakness exists. And it’s for that very reason that in every person, a platform exists. An opportunity exists. An opportunity to amplify the greatness of God in a way that your strength alone will never be able to.

Your greatest weakness may actually be God’s greatest platform for showing His power and glory in your life.

In 2 Corinthians 12:9, Jesus tells us, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.”

God’s power is the perfect counterpart to your weakness. It’s more than enough for you and it’s completely available to you. God isn’t scouring the universe looking for a perfect person through whom He can display His power and glory. He’s looking for the perfect person. And the perfect person is a person whose weakness provides God and His power with an opportunity to make their life unexplainable.

No matter what you’re going through, no matter how weak you feel right now, there’s no reason that can’t be you.

That's the only reason why I am keeping my sanity. Though my classmates strongly believe that I've gone beyond craziness could ever bring me. Thank you for love you've so freely given~

#19 Blessed To Be A Blessing

five years ago I was in yunnan china, the city of da-bo, white washing and drawing on this seemingly never ending block of wall. while I seriously questioned and wondered how would this block of wall even affect the lives of the kids, I could never forget about the times I taught them english. it was one of the most, if not the most memorable out of the classroom experience. I told myself I would come back one day.. hmm.. but I daren't share the dream cos it felt like uhm stupid? cos it wouldn't be anytime soon, considering I was only thirteen then. and it felt stupid sharing it, if in the end I don't ever go and I didn't want to make myself sound like some Samaritan either.

a year down the road I forgot all about it.. though china was kept in my context cos of huiying's crazy passion for china. but more often than not, I used the term to tease her haha! until during fireproof, when we watch 'i heart'. i got reminded of those kids - the ones who walk ten kilometers just to get to school. I applaud them for their teachable spirit; I want to be like them. and I got reminded of what I wanted to do; I still want to do it.

today during sermon, pastor jeff preached about missions. during altar call, all that was in my head was THE KIDS. I don't think I've any extra ordinary ability or capability to link with kids but I know what I aspire to do in the future must touch the lives of people. I really want to teach. and for a moment, I was like, how great it'd be if I could go to china to teach the kids and plant seeds in the heart of people for God. we'll just wait for the one fine sunny day haha but I'm serious about it. church planting sounds like a mega crazy massive chunk of I-don't-knows and I-can'ts, therefore, even if it's not in the name of missions I'm going one day, I'll still want to tell people about God. and even if it's in the name of missions I'm going one day, I'll still want to teach the kids~

i'm so excited about this. but first of all, I have to grow!

and yes I read my previous post about studying~ I need to try harder, again and again and again and again..!! what should I fear with You on my side? (:

#18 Retreat back to Comfort Zone

Mama shu told me "whatever happens.. just know that I'll be here"

&

Mummy told me "I'm sorry haven't had time for you"

Even though it's like really little things, it's really almost close to everything I need right now. All I need is some form of comfort. I've been terribly tired, down casted and delusional.

During the weekends I'm totally okay, up and running, super happy and hyper especially where shopping and food are concerned. But when weekdays come, it's worse than hell. I hate school so badly - I've never felt the same in primary nor secondary school before.

These weeks 've been crazy. Need to retain my sanity.

Need You God.

-

And I re-thought about my future career choice, even before Silly told me about her thoughts as well. For me, it's not only because most teachers (those closer to me) asked me to, but also because school really sucks for me. Tonight, Angelina and myself stated that if I were to do bad enough for A's, we'll just go and be air stewardesses together for the rest of my life. If I can get into a university, I may still consider being a geography teacher (btw Geog always has the BEST teachers i.e. Mrs Helen Lim, Mr Homer Galistan) If not teaching.. I don't know already. Arts?

but I really know not of a better place that portrays such bad image of teaching/education/development of teenagers than in SAJC.

#17

I am really willing to lay aside every single thing in my life for the people I love, except my faith.

#16 What Saint?

School officially sucks now. Whatever is happening in KCP with the new leadership is happening in SA with the SAME leadership board. I don't know what's wrong but the school's definitely nuts. At least I understand in KCP, with new principal comes new ruling and different ways of doing things but in SA?!?!??!

Unreasonable school rules, like what's with the shoes? And the stupid skirt rule. I really hate it. Every single day, every where I go, the stupid dumbo teachers keep starring at my skirt. Sick in the head really.

It's not just that. Every other day we see people getting expelled for the dumbest reasons ever. We have teachers who DO NOT HELP their students, okay nevermind.. but AT LEAST you don't SABOTAGE your own form class student. Now that he is expelled, you still have the guts to talk about him in class. Are you nuts? Sigh.

Not just that, we have school management who goes back on their words, print wrong things on forms and deny. Deputy principal who wanted to "scold the clerk" for printing the wrong thing on forms, misleading parents.. isn't it his fault for not checking before signing and now you deny a third chance for students. And when you give, your requirements is just equivalent of kicking them out. You're nuts.

Right and we've others who are two-faced in front of students and parents. And they dare share devotion.

Okay, St. Andrew's JC over. Caleb said perhaps we should take SAINT out of the school. Disappointed.

Jeff and I both agreed over the fact that WE CAN'T WAIT FOR SCHOOL TO BE OVER!

#15 EDU

The whole episode regarding the release of o level results/school expelling, sorta forcing withdrawal and all made me think a lot about our society.

I mean, the stress we face as students is probably minute as compared to those of the outside world. But if schools are this rigid and stressful already, can you tell me how are we gonna survive in the real world?

And once again, I question the purpose of education.. whether we are just supposed to get a certificate filled with distinctions out of it. I know that no matter how the syllabus changes, whatever they add.. like CCAs, moral ed, civics lessons.. nothing changes the fact that only grades matters in this realistic and probably say materialistic Singapore.

Then again, you know to measure character is tough. But I love the idea of education shaping and moulding character instead of education teaching to memorize information. I hate it when people let their life revolve around studies.. which is something clearly visible in JCs. I cannot stand it. Cos to me, education is a life long learning journey in my life, it's a part of my life but it is not my life. I don't want to let grades determine what I do, how I do.. to me, coming to school isn't so much about doing well.. topping the level or what so ever. But I believe in happiness being the motivation. To me, to be contented and happy about my grades is all I need. People say that it's because whatever happens to my grades, I somehow still have NIE to fall back upon. But then again I think otherwise, it's not about whether there is NIE or not.. it's about trying your best. And if you don't do well.. you try again and again and again and again.

#13 resolutions

#1 - let Christ be the center of my life

#2 - to give only my best and nothing less in everything I do

and 2011 will be a year my soul will sing:

I need You more, more than yesterday

I need You Lord, more than words can say

I need You more, than ever before

I need You Lord

I need You Lord

More than the air I breathe

More than the song I sing

More than the next heartbeat

More than anything

And Lord, as time goes by, I will be by your side

Cause I never want to go back to my old life.

Right here in Your presence is where I belong

This old broken heart has finally found a home

And I'll never be alone

#12

The trip to Hokkaido was like awesome only!
I'll blog about it soon!

Tonight was great too, with Ms Tan & Mrs Teo. Ms Tan is freaking funny I swear she makes you laugh at every single word/action she says/does! Mrs Teo & I laughed like some crazy women. It's so great to have such an addition to the Student Council and our lighthearted bitching with professionalism. Seriously enjoyed every bit of the campfire we skived in the staff room with Ms Tan stealing the Shiroi Koibito I got for mumma's family!

But I guess, for me, the highlight of the campfire was when the councillors danced to the mass dance that I learnt and taught my batch years back. It was heartwarming to know that "woah I really kinda left a legacy." Every bit of it was like gold to me, reaaaaally.

Ended the day with crazy mumma & dad, Ms Tan and David eating supperrrrrrrr then my sister sent my mummy and her husband home!

Im really gonna faint now. Goodnights!

2011

It's SCARILY AMAZING how time flies.

Started off the last day of 2010 with the old Central North kids! Ruth, Yenli, Jess and myself decided to meet at our base aka Bishan Junction 8 and chit chat sing song together. It's been really long, though the last time we've all actually met was at Ruth's wedding, we didn't get to talk much and prior to that we were all really caught up with our own lives. But I suppose there was a lot that I learnt through that little time we spent together.

It was really nice to meet Ruth first, cos we're always on time.. unlike the two other princesses. Anyways, because Ruth and I are so similar in the area of cherishing ties and relations, I was able to get a lot out of her. Could really sense that no matter whatever she did, she really placed God first. And when the other two came, they three shared about growing old and thinking a few close friends is enough because to them, there's simply no time to have so many friends.. and I suppose it's true. I guess, come a point in my life I'd have to give up some things for my career. I probably don't see it now, but I guess there was a strong message to really treasure God before men.

Apart from that, we talked about the old kids as well.. people like Fangwei, Xiangwei, Teresa, David Ong and all.. I guess it's true that as we serve people do leave us, but as we were talking, there was this one line that struck me quite hard. That was when Ruth said.. when we grow up, it's all dependent on our spiritual discipline which comes from young. Like for LG and service. I think it came to a point when I thought LG wasn't that important for my growth but it's rubbish haha. We were just sharing like when we grow up, there are more responsibilities.. much is given, much is expected right? I guess when we are young, the only possible problem we could face is like parental persecution. But as we grow up, things that are part of our lives can hinder us from God so bad as well. Timings and all are no longer fixed, but we've gotta find it for Him, to seek Him.

After that I headed to Somerset with Bernard, another of the old kids, and really, I don't know him well cos when CN finally got onto tracks, I was no longer around. But I guess we were able to share quite a lot, about paradigm shift when it comes to moving on, changing groups.. everything. I could really see that he was someone that loved God, even like you could see this man is facing problem - but you know the scariest thing about facing problem isn't the problem, it's about giving up and not facing up to reality, that is, the problem.

That close to 3 hours I spent with them was simply overwhelming.. I suppose my leaders will always be my leaders (: And we're thinking of a Central North gathering soon.. for the truckloads of people who miss it.. haha.

Later in the day I went for service and the unit peeps we went for countdown together. I suppose.. feeling belonged to a place is more than the people around you's responsibility, but also the very effort that you make to fellowship with them.

Anyway when we counted 5, 4, 3, 2, 1....and when I stepped home to think about it. Many things could be done in this year but one thing that MUST be done is - this year (and every year counting forward) is for God. You're my only purpose and if we lose our purpose for anything and everything, they become meaningless.